I was going to put I’ve instead of You’ve given that would be the more factually correct version, however I would never not miss and opportunity to shoehorn a Kelly Clarkson lyric into a post. I also feel like I should be saying ‘Its been x weeks since my last post’, like I should be confessing my sin of blog abandonment.
Being serious though, it has played heavily on my mind, that I’d seemingly neglected this beloved little corner of mine. I shall level with you all, those of you whom are still reading, that I’ve been unwell. I’ve not shouted such things from the rooftops because frankly I hate that whole ‘I’m taking a break because I want to be alone’ crap that some bloggers seem to be want to do and I didn’t want to be labelled as such. But that being said there’s a reason why all my beautifully taken photos languish on hard-drives and memory cards, why I have umpteen things yet to be reviewed, visits yet to be wax lyrical on. I’ve been suffering from a whole host of symptoms – dizziness, tiredness, lack of concentration, poor sleep, poor memory recall all cumulating in a spate of seizure type episodes ongoing since Boxing Day. Basically a shit load of things that made it very hard for me to even get up in the morning, never mind open up my blog and write.
About a month or so ago I got a prelimary diagnosis of Epilepsy and began a drug regime, and expected to see some improvement. However the opposite happened, the seizures got worse and I felt even further from getting back to all the things I love doing the most. I’ve had a fairly rough time emotionally…feeling like I’d never be normal again, despair at feeling so helpless, depressed that I was having to lean on The Bloke for not just emotional support but for practical support too…I am a very lucky girl in that not only is he domestically trained but that he’s insisted on my health came before such things like cleaning up.
Anyway, I got in touch with the epilepsy nurse and managed to get a last-minute cancellation to see him. I went through all what had been happening, and then BAM came the twist. I’ve actually got something called Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder, which mean I have seizures just like epilepsy (well, mostly) yet the cause is very different – it is in fact acute stress, the kind that lingers deep down in your subconscious. All the other symptoms? Well, they go hand in hand, much like any other sort of extreme stress based problem. I’m basically having the equilivant of a tension headache, yet seizures seem to be what my body is using to deal with the stress my mind can’t handle. I had febrile convulsions as a child and they think that is where my mind has gotten that as a way to deal with stress from – apparently it’s often there’s a history of epilepsy somewhere in the family history if someone develops NEAD.
The outlook is basically all the things we all get told to do to unwind – good night’s sleep, relaxation techniques, etc. Often simply being told its Non-Eplieptic Attack Disorder is enough to make it mostly go away. I’ve a review with the nurse in a few weeks time – if it’s not under control by then, the next step will be some talking therapy of some kind to work through whatever issues are causing it.
So, after that long ramble I’m going to post one of my outfit pictures which have been sitting around forever and a day, a step in the right direction of turning a new leaf and posting every single day.
Woodland Creature top: ASOS Curve | Skirt: Evans | Leggings: Primark |Jewellery : Presents | Glasses : Gok Wan at Specsavers
Fact for you all – this picture was taken on Christmas Day, that’s how long its been waiting to be posted!!! I really like this look and have worn it since, and have worn the top a fair bit. It’s supposed to be a soft peplum but I actually see it more just as flared or skater-ish. Anywho, I adore the print and it always gets compliments when worn. Fact Number Two – it was my Christmas present from my mum, however I had to order it myself and give it to The Bloke to confiscate lest I try to wear it before Christmas!!
So there you have it…a bit of an explanation as to why I’ve been a tad M-I-A and an outfit post. More to follow asap!!