Oh dear. You really don’t love yourself very much, do you? I mean seriously, the not looking anyone in the eye and barely speaking speaks more volumes than you know….you do realise that being that shy tends to not endear people to you, right? And what’s with the hair and the clothing? Dressing like you got dressed in the dark, and having hair so long you could take someone’s eye out is not the way to get people to fancy you. You’re going to get fatter, because of this job you’ve just gotten yourself, and will wish for the days you were a size 18/20 most desperately so I rather suggest buy clothes that actual fit and flatter yourself. You’re a pear shape, by the way, that means you should actually make the most of your waist and smaller top half, rather than hiding everything away. Get your legs out girl! They’re not that bad!
Also, do not under any circumstances start fancying that boy that’s just flirted with you. Yes, that’s flirting dear, that’s what adults do when they want to mate. No, he’s not being nice, he’s flirting. No, don’t start crushing on him a year down the line, because you remember how you were too shy and too naive to actually get that he was flirting? Well men have just as fragile egos as you do, so its unlikely he’s going to welcome you with open arms when you change your mind.
You definitely need to chill the flip out. Laugh a bit more. Blush a bit less at sexual innuendo, in fact actually join in. Less crying and more laughing. Have fun, as much fun as you can, because these are going to be the best years of your youth. Yes, the best ones, so be careful, you don’t want to miss them in a blink of an eye because you’re too busy sat in a toilet crying because you’ve been dismissed after a few hours light flirting and dancing. See, what did I say? Told you that you shouldnt fancy that boy.
About that job of yours. Leave. Quit. Run very, very quickly. Here’s the thing – you’re better than it. Work your arse off at studying, at getting the hell out of dodge….*do not* get stuck there for about six or so years because you’ll just be ruddy miserable. About three or four will work, that way you’ll get the best edited highlights from the early days.
Be confident, or fake it until you make it. Wear what you want, people will judge you even if you were that perfect size that you think you need to be in order to be happy. Guys don’t fancy you for two reasons – one because you give out very loud signals of ‘stay the hell away, I’ve got confidence and body issues’ and two because you’re pretty much superglued to that boy who I’d already said not to fancy. He’ll most definitely break your heart about ten times.
Cut your hair to a sensible length. Get a proper fringe rather than one you have to blow out of your eyes. No, that whipping your hair around isn’t Beyoncé like, it just looks like a crazy male rocker stuck in a wind turbine. Go have a make-up lesson or ten….you do not look as nice without makeup as you think you do, and by the way, what you wear right now is not making the most of yourself. English Rose darling, that’s definitely what you should be channeling. As should young pretty bookish type meets Miss Marple in the clothes department….you’ll find that actually you’ve very fond of a sweater and a skirt combo….as well as sensible shoes for your feet. Comfort is most important, the more comfortable and well fitted things are, the better you’ll feel.
Speak up! People need to hear how intelligent you are, how funny you can be. Hiding away your whole personality is never going to win friends and influence people….it will just make you look boring. Or mental because soon you’ll stop being a boring teetotaler, and you’ll have this mad Jekyll and Hyde thing going on….drunk interesting you very boring sober you.
Read more….read lots more….put down the chick lit, and pick up something a bit more literary….you’re actually quite good with books, and you’ll enjoy much more than you think you would….there is no such thing as a boring book to you…well except thrillers or horror books. They’ll always be boring I’m afraid.
But there’s something that is far more important that all these things – speak your heart. You’ll not regret what you wore, or where you went, or what you did as half as much as you’ll regret not saying those things that right now are so deeply hidden within your heart. You’ll lose people and things just as easily for not fighting for them as you will if you do. Speak your mind….you’re much more likely to end up the loser if you stand on the sidelines quietly, than if you go out there, guns blazing.
Oh, and finally, Harry Potter isn’t just a kids book. You’re quite mistaken there. Read that, you’ll like it, do not dismiss it for its colourful cover. And also, you enjoy writing….you’re at the very least passable at it, so start doing that now, rather than much later.
Apologies for being hard on you, but these are lessons that you will definitely need to know for the forthcoming future.
Yours Most Lovingly
Your Older Self