This time last year, I was single and not very happy about it. I’d gotten to a point where I thought that if something special didnt come along sharpish, maybe I’d have to accept that I was unloveable, not meant to be part of a two, a couple. But life is funny, and it has a habit of just as you’e about to give up on something, surprising you with the exact thing you were looking for.
I’d had a flurry of really lovely emails from a man who’s picture I now know doesnt do him justice. I’d been giving the online dating thing a jolly good go for months and was fed up of giving but not getting what I was looking for. A phone or call two and then plans were carefully laid to meet up for drinks.
My gorgeous man…
The first moment I laid my eyes on him I was taken aback with how beautiful he was. To me at least. I’ve always spent so much time describing the exact man I was looking for, and I just knew this was it, he was the one. He was and is the perfect gentleman…holds opens doors, listens attentively, considers my needs and pays for drinks (something probably a bit more noticeable on a first date!). Every other date I had been on, I always worried that the conversation didnt flow, that I was boring the man. But not with this man, there was far too much conversation for there ever to be a gap where I could worry about how I was coming across. And then, after a truly wonderful date, when I’d waved him off on his tram, he was texting me just moments later.
From the very beginning I knew that I could love this man…he never made me worry about what he thought about me or how he felt, he always made me feel sexy and desireable and beautiful. He still does and I know he always will. We are equals, a partnership. Two halves that make much more sense together as a whole.
Me in a dress I’d never have had the courage to wear and feel as sexy in if it was for the love of my life…. (also, this is one of his fav dresses of mine ;p)
He makes me stronger and a better version of myself…as if anything is possible, that I could do anything, I just have to put myself out there. He surprises me with presents on random weekdays just because, he has looked after me during all my recent health issues and he tells me how much he loves me every single day. But he also gives me room to be by myself, to be myself as Sara the individual not just as part of Sara + Bloke.
I used to get a lot of stick for wanting a proper old fashioned romance yet equality too…that I was asking for too much, that the man I was looking for didnt exist. I very nearly believed that. But then he came, and I just wanted to shout ‘LOOOOKKKK, HE’S REAALLLL!!!’. I will spend the rest of my life putting the effort a relationship, even one as lovely as ours, requires because I want, no – need, to spend a lifetime with the man who makes me never doubt that I am exactly where I am. That I am home. That I am loved.
Us on our first holiday together
Every day feels like an adventure with him. Like anything is possible. That together, our love will take us places we could never quite go alone. There will be, to borrow a phrase from Sex and the City, ‘Me and You, Just Us Two’ for pretty much the same reasons and I look forward to bestowing all my love and affection upon this man…my main focus outside the other important things that make me happy being loving and being loved by him.
Its strange when love last comes along, said a floppy-haired man in a Richard Curtis film. It can hit you like a thunderbolt, which it did in one way – I knew I could love him when we went on a date where he bought me a book as a present; but equally it can just grow and grow and grow….finding your own way to live your lives together. To find new and different ways to take bigger steps, to increase and develop what you have together
Recent pic of us
So, today marks one year of Sara and The Bloke. It feels like both a lifetime and a second. I never thought I could feel my heart filled with so much love, so much joy. All of which grows every day, nutured by his love for me, by the way he sees the very best version of me and reflects that in his eyes when he gazes upon me. I will spend today, tomorrow and the rest of my life showing, telling, giving, sharing and devoting myself to our life together. I look forward to the adventures, the surviving obsticales, the highs and the lows, the quiet calm and contentment. I love him when we’re out on a date night all dress up and being flirty, but equally I love him when we’re all curled up on the sofa together, wearing our comfy clothing. It takes a very special person to get me into practical outdoors clothing, but I feel comfortable enough to do it because of him telling me I look good in it. He got me to wear glasses properly by telling me I look sexy in them.
He makes me feel so good about myself, makes me want to take care of myself and sort out inner troubles of old….so there will be a happy and healthy Sara around for a long time so we can have decades together in utter bliss. I want to spend all of the rest of my life, holding his hand, feeling secure. He helps me conquer fears, to stand up for my rights, to make bold and ambitious decisions. To say I was a lesser woman before he was in my life is an understatement….not because a woman needs a man in her life, but because this woman needed that man, and that man needed this woman because they were meant to be together.
He is my soulmate, my best friend, my grand love affair. I love you darling Bloke, today on our celebration of our first year together and for the rest of my life and beyond.